Loveless Christianity?
When I started out in ministry, I didn’t really love people.
I should probably explain that statement. By default, I was and to some extent still am an introvert. I liked people, but being around them and getting involved was not my default mode of operation. Despite this, I knew that I was called to ministry and wanted to obey that calling. I genuinely wanted others to know the gospel, I had a passion for teaching, and enjoyed organizing communities, but I did not truly understand what it meant to love others.
I had incredible opportunities to grow in my faith while exploring ministry, but it wasn’t until I was leading The Spring (my previous ministry) that I learned what love truly meant. In the midst of my time there, I had the chance to meet up with one of my mentors (Dave) to catch up. In many ways, Dave has been a spiritual father to me. We try to meet up every month or so and discuss what God is teaching us. During this meeting, he casually mentioned that God had been teaching him about love recently and shared a definition that has changed my life.
Love is wanting God’s best for someone and taking action to see it happen.
This definition has been revolutionary for me, my life, and the ministries I’ve been part of since.
Though Dave was the one that shared this definition with me all those years ago, it isn’t exactly original to him. If we look at 1 John 3:16–18, and 23 we will find that this definition is really God’s definition of love.
16 This is how we have come to know love: He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. 17 If anyone has this world’s goods and sees his brother in need but closes his eyes to his need — how can God’s love reside in him? 18 Little children, we must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action.
23 Now this is His command: that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another as He commanded us.
Know Love
These verses are profoundly challenging to the status quo of our lives. Starting in verse 16 we are given the chief example of love: Christ dying on the cross for us. As the verse says, through this we “know love.”
It’s a common cliche in movies or stories that when it comes to being in love, “you just know.” But this is not what scripture teaches us. We can know if we possess love for someone else based on whether or not our love looks like Christ’s love. Because of what Christ did on the cross, we can “know” or recognize love. We can know love when we see it because we have seen it on the cross.
Another way to read verse 16 is that the through the cross we come to “experience” love. Through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus we can relate to the source of love, recognize love, and experience what it feels like to receive this love. But it doesn’t stop there. Incredibly, we can also experience what it is like to give this love to others.
The love defined on the cross is so powerful that it transforms the recipients from enemies to allies. We aren’t just rescued, we are redeemed and empowered to love others sacrificially in the hopes of propagating this transforming kind of love. We become Christ’s hands and feet.
Unfortunately, for many of us (myself included), we often stop at the receiving step of the process. We experience God’s love toward us, are amazed by it, and turn to Christ, but don’t really live out that kind of radical love toward others. We want to be along for the ride with Jesus and feel loved. That desire is not wrong, but if we stop short of following his example, I think we miss out on the full experience of love.
Why? Because according to verse 17, love can only be expressed through action.
Action
What kind of action? Well, verse 17 gives us a prime example: if you see someone in need and you have the means (finances, property, privilege etc) to help, you should help. If we refuse to serve others, we are living counter to love.
Serving others is action. Encouraging others is action. Hospitality is action. Generosity is action. Advocacy is action. Prayer is action.
The love modeled on the cross is not just to be admired, it is to be imitated.
In verse 18, we see the Bible’s version of our definition above. “Little children, we must not love with word or speech, but with truth and action.” Looking closely at this verse, I am struck by the last three words, “truth and action.”
What does it mean to love with truth? Maybe your first thought is “speaking truth to someone”, but I think “wanting God’s best for someone” sums up the point of loving with truth. Loving with truth is love directed by truth. Scripture teaches us that God has the best in mind for all his children and his ways are better than ours (Is. 55:8–9, Eph. 3:17–21). How do we know if our love is directed by truth? By immersing ourselves in scripture and allowing it to saturate our hearts.
When we know truth intimately, the Holy Spirit works with the truth of scripture to direct us in how to love most effectively in any given moment. This means that your personal study of scripture is not just for your own betterment. It isn’t just to get more holy experience points. By committing yourself to the word, you are stocking up directions on how best to love others.
What happens when we start stockpiling truth and engaging with scripture in this way? We are changed. Truth demands action. We live what we truly believe. So if the truth of scripture really hits your heart, then action must follow. We cannot stop at the “with truth” step and and think that we are loving fully. It is not enough just to want God’s best for someone. For love to be completely experienced we must take action to see it happen.
According to 1 John 3, we cannot passively love. Love is not a just feeling. It isn’t just a choice. It isn’t just sacrificially caring for someone else’s well being. True love encapsulates all these things to varying degrees, but at its core it is about doing whatever it takes for someone else to experience the best God has for them.
What defines you?
A summation of the Christian life is found in verse 23. We have a simple command: believe in Jesus and love one another as he commanded us. This level of love isn’t reserved for super Christians or pastors/clergy. It is the calling of every believer to love with a Christ like kind of love. We are not given an option, we are given a command.
How will you respond to this command today?
Maybe you need to start with the first part of the command and believe in Jesus. As Christians, we put our faith in Jesus, not just the story of Jesus. It isn’t enough to just believe that Jesus is who he said he was, died, and rose again. Even the demons know and believe that. What makes the difference is your relationship with Jesus. Do you have your faith in the person and work of Christ to save you, change you, and raise you at the end of time? Do you believe that his death was enough to save you specifically? Have you surrendered your life to him? Jesus gave his life for you so you could live for him and love like he loved.
Perhaps you’re like me and the second part of the command is more what you’re wrestling with right now. We are to love one another as Christ loved us. Is this truth founded, action expressed kind of love defining for you? Are you known for this kind of love?
It was not good feelings or mere affection that drove Christ to the cross. It was love. This love is so powerful that it redefines us at our core. Are you willing to let this love redefine your life, your goals, your relationships, and your church community? It is redefining these things for me. It is a process, but this love is changing everything for me.
This kind of change is possible — but it starts with you right now. Will you love like Jesus?
34 “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” — John 13:34–35
May we always be a people known for our love.
