The Shared Life
What I learned walking in the mountains with my wife.
It has been a heck of a year and a half.
I’m sure that most people could say the same thing. And due to that shared sense of stress and anxiety, we could all use a break. Patience and I certainly recognized this need and so last month we set off for our vacation to Yosemite. Our goals were to unplug, go on long hikes, and just sit in nature. The hope was that all this would detox our brains from the madness and consistent pull of life these last 18 months.
There’s something about just sitting in nature that just helps both of us let go. While there we agreed that it is nice to not have to keep the plates spinning for a little while. I figured that it would be in the moments of sitting and reading that I would find the most refreshment, but it ended up being in the hiking we did that I found something profoundly beautiful. At least, to me.
Patience and I are not hardcore outdoorsy people. Prior to this trip, we went on walks, but rarely have we “hiked.” While in Yosemite, we did a lot of hiking and set personal records, but we weren’t camping out or anything like that. We had a list of places we wanted to hike to/around and for the most part, hit everything on our list. Taft Point, Tenaya Lake, Glacier Point, Tuolumne Meadows, the sequoias and more were all incredible sights. Each one was worth the trouble of getting to them.
For each, the pattern was similar. We’d hike (or in some cases, drive) to the spot, take photos, be awestruck, and then either sit for a while or move on to the next stop. The bulk of the time each day however was not spent at the stop, but in getting there. Along the way Patience and I got to talk, crack jokes, and encourage one another on to keep going.
I know, I know. “The destination is not as amazing as the journey.” Real original. Piping hot takes here from Connor.
But that’s not really what struck me on our final day in the park. Sure, it was great to be reminded of that, but as Patience and I sat by the river in the main valley, I reflected. Not so much on the journey, but on my relationship with Patience.
She really is incredible. She is my best friend and I am so thankful for her being in my life. I’m a better person simply by knowing her and being known by her. She’s so much fun to be with and is able to make me laugh in ways no one else can. Patience is funny, but it’s just her being herself that brings me so much joy that I can’t help but smile and laugh. Have you ever been around someone that brings you that kind of happiness? They’re a gift.
This wasn’t a “new” discovery for me. I knew these things about Patience. They’re reasons why I fell in love with her and married her. But they were highlighted once again during this trip. We joked a lot about the cliche “The destination is not as amazing as the journey” (Or as Patience jokingly put it, “The journey…is part of the trip.”) so it was on my mind throughout. While I think that idea is true, I think who you go on that journey with makes all the difference.
Could I have flown to California, gone to Yosemite, and hiked to each of these locations on my own? Sure, but it wouldn’t have been half the trip this one was if Patience wasn’t there with me. Journeys and destinations don’t shine so brightly if you have no one to share them with.
Relationships matter in this life. They can enhance or detract from our respective journeys, but we weren’t meant to journey alone. That doesn’t mean we should all be married or that being single is somehow an inherently worse life. When I speak of journeying alone, I’m not really talking about romantic relationships. I just don’t think anyone is meant to go through life on their own. Don’t get me wrong, I like alone time. I’m an introvert through and through. However, I know that I am missing out on angles of beautiful light shining through this jewel called “life” if I refuse to walk with someone else and see things from their perspective. The shared life is a richer life.
As a Christian, I believe that we are never really alone. Maybe you don’t have a significant other, close family, or even a travel buddy — but you do have Christ Jesus. In going from place to place through life, are you sharing the journey with him? He wants to go with you.
On our last day at Yosemite, we decided to just walk the loop trail down the in valley. It’s a pretty easy, paved trail that takes you by some breathtaking and iconic scenery. The week had been restful, but we were also tired from all the hiking. We determined that we’d take the day easy and stop at various spots to rest, read, and pray. As we sat by the river, (and maybe it is just my preacherness coming out) I couldn’t help but see the loop trail as an illustration for my life and marriage with Patience.
We’ve been through some tough stuff together. We’ve hiked hard life trails. But we’ve also seen awe-inspiring beauty along the way. Together we have arrived at destinations and plotted new courses. That day, we weren’t so concerned with what we would see or how we would get there. We were just happy to walk together and were confident that so long as we were together, the journey AND the destination would be worthwhile. I want to have that attitude about life. I don’t want to be careless, but I want to focus on the things that matter most.
When it comes to walking through life, it is about who you are with rather than where you go. If your focus is on your relationship with Christ and others, then I believe you’ll end up in a beautiful place.
